Every Who down in Whoville liked the time change a lot. / But the Nick who lived in Athens certainly did not!
The Nick hated the time change! The whole time change season. / Now please don’t ask why! No one knows exactly the reason.
It could be perhaps, that his clocks were wound too tight, / It could just be that he never adjusted them right.
But I think the most likely reason you can keep, / Is that the Nick was a person who wanted to sleep.
But whatever the reason, his clocks or his snooze, / He stood there on time change night, upset with the Whos.
For he knew every Who down in Whoville, before they set their locks, / Also went around and adjusted their clocks.
“And they’re fixing the time on their microwaves, oven and cars,” he said with a sneer. / “At 2 a.m. it will be the time change, it’s practically here!”
Then he growled, while his fingers pushed his hair into a funny part, / “I must find away to stop the time change before it can start!”
Then the Nick got an idea! An awful idea! / Seriously, this actually was an awful idea.
“I know just what to do,” he said with affection, / “I’ll pretend I am there for a code inspection.”
“This is stop number one,” the grumpy Nick hissed. / As he knocked on the door, he held a pen and list.
He entered the house and saw the first clock on the wall, / “These clocks and these watches, I’m taking them all.”
Then he slithered and slunk, careful to not get a boo-boo, / And he grabbed all of the clocks, even a cuckoo.
It was a quarter of 1. All the Who’s were asleep, / So he grabbed the clocks quietly, without even a beep.
Packed up all of their Timex and Rolex, it was sickening, / He grabbed anything that could take a licking and keep on ticking.
Then raced back to his home, to the recycling and trash cans, / He prepared to sort the items into the correct containers by hand.
“Pooh-pooh to the Whoos,” he was happily saying. / “They’re finding out now that the time is not changing!”
And then he did hear, a sound in a high tone, / It confused him a first, until he noticed his phone.
But this sound wasn’t sad, and it wasn’t quiet at all, / Why this sound was joyful, loud and tall.
He hadn’t stopped the time from changing! It came! / Somehow or other, it came just the same.
And the Nick, with his hands filled with clocks, / Stood puzzling and puzzling, as if his head was made of rocks.
“It came without clocks! It came without the calculator watch!” / It came without sun dials or even a Swatch.”
He puzzled and puzzled while he sat there alone, / Then the Nick thought of something he probably should have known.
Maybe the Time Change, he thought, doesn’t come from each home, / Maybe the Time Change, perhaps, is done these days more by the internet and phone.
Maybe it’s a stupid idea with reasons that are unclear, / But at least it only happens two times a year.
And what happened then? Well in Whoville they leap, / When they tell you that the Nick right away fell asleep.
He should not have stayed up so late in the night, / Especially after stealing every clock in his sight.
But when he woke the next day he walked out to his car, / And then returned every clock and watch, near and far.
He took everything back, even the clock in the tower, / And took the time to set each ahead one hour. / Welcome Time Change. Save your daylight, / In the evenings, it will stay light.
Time Change now is set to begin, / Unless the government changes the time again.
Time Change will always be, / Kind of a pain for you and me.
Welcome Time Change, losing an hour of sleep is unsatisfactory, / At least it’s a good reminder to change your smoke detector battery.
Nick Claussen is a freelance writer with too much time on his hands. To see more of his work, please visit nickclaussen.com.