Getting the Better of Button Pushers

At the time, her outrageous performance immediately propelled her to the center ring of a media circus that made her the most talked about woman on the planet.

From that moment on, her quest for fame became seemingly hinged on not so much if people liked her music, but more so on how far she was willing to push the envelope to get attention.

Regardless of how shocked, offended and outraged fractions of the public were by her risque music videos, “Boy Toy” style of dressing and roster of rotating boyfriends, the more intentionally provocative she strived to become.

Then, in 1989, Madonna scored an impressive sponsorship deal with soft drink giant, Pepsi. But, once the music video for her song, “Like a Prayer,” debuted on MTV, deal was unceremoniously revoked.

Why? Because the video contained images that many saw as a disrespectful misuse of Catholic symbols-like stigmata-along with images of burning crosses that made many wonder if she was somehow endorsing the KKK?

The outrage against this video became so heated that it was even denounced by officials of the Catholic Church.

But, too Madonna, all this controversy only seemed to fuel her desire to take her button pushing efforts to the proverbial next level every opportunity she got.

Criticism of her work perhaps reached its zenith in 1990 with the release of her single, “Justify My Love.” True to form, this song’s music video featured NC-17 rated images of gender fluid actors in a hotel acting out bondage fantasies and performing acts of pseudo-sadomasochism.

The racy video became such a hot button topic that MTV would only play it late at night. In response, Madonna challenged MTV’s decision until the demand to see the video became so great that she had it released on VHS-which ended up make her millions.

So what point am I striving to make here? Well, at some point in everyone’s life, they’re going to be confronted by a button pusher like Madonna.

How can you identify a button pusher? Fortunately, they’re easy to spot because they typically they have a confrontational “in your face” attitude and are in desperate need of an audience 24/7.

Long story short, button pushers will say or do anything to be the center of attention-even if they have to resort to shock-inducing comments and behavior to get it.

Normally, they prey on compassionate, caring people with a well defined moral center. But, their favorite targets are people who are wear their values and politics on their sleeves.

Once they have spotted their prey, they like to intrude on their personal space and make it that make it clear that they’re itching to to ignite a controversy by presenting an opinion that they know their prey will disagree with as fact.

Other times, they take the passive aggressive route by deliberately posting something controversial on social media, or even placing an opinionated sticker or flier in the window of a business, that they know will stir up a social hornet’s nest.

And if you find yourself considering trying to reason with a button pusher- Forget It! They simply aren’t capable of agreeing to disagree on anything. Because, once they see that they’ve ruffled your feathers, they’ll advance into full throttle attack mode and won’t back off until you’ve become a willing participant in their mud slinging match.

So, what’s the best way to get the better of a button pusher? From my experience, the most effective way to not take a button pushers metaphorical bait is to deprive them of what they desire most: your acknowledgment.

You see, ignoring them has the same effect on button pushers that Kryptonite has on Superman: it makes them weak and incapable of continuing to use their opinion super powers for evil.

While everyone does have the right to their own opinion, when someone tries to use that opinion to purposely ignite a controversy, that’s when I just need to step away and avoid getting caught in the toxic quicksand the button pusher is spewing.

Many times all it takes is a polite, “Thanks for sharing,” followed by making a subtle exit, to deescalate the situation and escape the button pushers clutches.

So, the next time you’re tempted to tangle with a button pusher,, perhaps you need to ask yourself the following question: Do I really want to give this person the same kind of satisfaction former President Donald Trump felt every time he posted one of his outrageous bait-laced tweets and watched it go viral and make national headlines?”

No matter what road you chose in life, you’re bound to encounter people who you don’t like, or cant see eye to eye with. But, when you respond when someone starts pushing your buttons, you’re essentially doing for them what Madonna’s harshest critics did for her: encouraging their button pushing-based bad behavior to continue escalating.

Don’t get me wrong-I love most of the music Madonna has produced. However, I’m sorry that years from now she’ll probably be remembered more for the controversies she stirred up than the music she made. This makes me wonder what kind of a career she might have had — had she not chosen to take the button pushing route to fame and fortune?