“I still remember what my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket... ‘Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?’"

“Many thanks to the kind woman who gave me an extra Star Wars ticket that she had. Here's a joke for her: Q: Why does Kylo Ren’s lightsaber have so much crackle? A: Snap and Pop were busy.”

“I think we’re going about these things the wrong way. Here’s another angle. The NRA doesn’t want to give up the guns; let’s lock down the ammunition. And as far as birth control, I believe it’s up to the man and the woman how many children they want to have. Like my wife and I just had two; we just replaced ourselves. If we’re not going to have zero population growth, we’re just going to have more wars and more displaced refugees roaming around the globe.”

“I’m reading the Athens Messenger here, and I see where Athens City Council is going to raise sewer rates. And now the city wants to donate $90,000 a year for a bicycle path that benefits a few people. Why don’t you take all this money you’re going to be blowing on a bicycle path and fix your infrastructure? You claim it’s bad; the city needs its rates increased to fix it but you’ve got $90,000 to give to bicycles. Why don’t you put it on the city infrastructure? This needs to be changed. The powers-that-be in this county need to get their heads out of their butts or get the hell out of office!”

“Orange man: Bad.”

“Did anyone notice how Putin of Russia went to defend Trump after he was impeached? I hope you Trump supporters take off your blinders and see him for the scumbag that he really is before November.”

“Re: East Elementary and chimney sweeps. One more fine example of the double-speak which public officials perpetually use and get away with. Animal harborage areas, such as East Elementary chimneys that could have been maintained for chimney swifts, are posed as potential and unmitigatable disease vectors. Yet animal harborage areas of intentional if not similar design at the same location are viable opportunities. One more brain trust and collaboration that should never be trusted.” 

“On Dec. 9, a woman ran over a 14-year-old girl walking to school in Clive, Iowa, because she, as the woman explained to police, ‘was a Mexican.’ Iowa currently has the fourth or fifth lowest unemployment rate in the country. God help us all, especially people who do not look white like me, speak in a foreign language or accent, unlike me, or wear ethnic clothing, unlike me.”

“Half of America is angry that Donald Trump has sold his country out, and correctly so. The other half of America is angry, believing that to be untrue, and they’re not entirely wrong. Trump’s not intelligent enough as to broker such a deal. He simply gave his country away.”

“Democratic socialism = capitalism with a beating heart and working conscience.” 

“When urban students are asked where milk comes from, many point to the grocery store. Ask a rural student and most will point to a cow. Ask any adult, whether suburban or rural, from where wealth is derived and few to none are shrewd enough as to point to themselves, most giving all deference to the seller or manufacturer, not the laborer or the buyer. As long as you allow others to define your value, you will be afforded none.”

“You at The Athens NEWS should run an experiment. Post an article link on your Facebook page announcing the Second Coming of Jesus Christ, and count the seconds till someone posts a negative remark, such as ‘Oh, it sure took Him long enough!’”

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