“What is so hard to understand about immigration. There is immigration by legitimate means, and there is storming the border immigration. Why can’t our government, both Democrats and Republicans, do their jobs and enforce our borders instead of whining on and on about trivial matters. Get busy and make some decisions for the betterment of the people of the United States. Remember, that is who you represent and the Constitution is your rule book. Get to work and earn your pay!” 

“The city pool is such great place! Many improvements have been made, and it shows. I really like the diving board area being closed for leisure swim for one hour, and the new items in the concession stand are great. Thank you, pool manager and staff, for another great season!”

“So, tell me MAGA minions, does calling an American city a ‘disgusting, rat- and rodent-infested mess’ where ‘no one would want to live’ sound like the words of a man who loves this country, or is it more likely that he hugs the flag merely to manipulate you? Yeah, I thought so. On the plus side, if he truly feels that our cities don’t measure up to his posh standards, he is always free to leave, right?”

“For the denialists claiming a cooler June and July in southeast Ohio serves as sufficient evidence that climate change doesn’t exist, how do you rationalize the millions of square miles of permafrost, having been stable for the past 45,000 years, now thawing and receding? Or does that too not exist as you haven’t personally seen or touched it?”

“The general election is upon us, and it begins with local issues. There are multiple people who have tossed their hat into the ring for Nelsonville City Council. It’s time to vote! There need be fresh minds at the table, those who truly have the town at heart, people who can sit down and iron out the agendas with intelligence and integrity. We need representation that comes in the form of raised hands, not flipped fingers!”

 

“Understatement of the decade: One can only hazard a guess of the enormity and far reaches of national fabric that has been frayed and unwoven by the nation’s senior diplomat perpetually going out of his way at any opportunity in the attempt to show everyone he can out-ignorant anyone.”

“I’m guessing that Trump’s wall will prevent the flow of drugs into the U.S. about as well as the walls around prisons prevent the flow of drugs into the prisons.” 

“Regarding Trump: To think, people once used Gaddafi as a prime example of instability.”

“Remember to not throw away old batteries; they are a universal waste. The better thing to do is take them to one of the local Athens County libraries; most recycle them correctly there.”

“Some people don’t like intentional puns. That’s understandable. Most puns are ‘dead’ puns: We have heard these bad puns so often that they aren’t funny anymore. When you find someone who says that he or she doesn’t like puns, make 10 good puns. That way, there will be no pun in ten dead.”

“Used to be the only cracker American adults who thought cute came out of a box from National Biscuit Company.”  

“The shortest story in history: Hired, Tired, Fired.”

“Our country survives asylum from persecution, abolition of slavery, and toleration of religious beliefs to be a civil order, and if our generations become afflicted for a duration, perhaps a cloud of unknowing has pervaded our culture but asylum, overcoming, and toleration will prevail over blame, frustration and despair. Happy?”

“So a supposedly average guy gets loaded uptown, fires up his truck to go home, runs over a man lying in the street, after ignoring another man trying to flag him down, obviously has enough cognitive function to turn off his lights to evade detection, flees the scene and hides his truck, and gets sentenced to three years? He knew he ran over a person, and still fled the scene. That goes beyond a sad event and into an evil act. Most people would stop and get out to try to help a dog that was hit by someone else!”

“There is no Second Amendment right to own an assault rifle. It is no more an ‘arm’ than a grenade launcher or a flame thrower. It did not exist in 1791. A 6-year old child dies at the hand of an angry person with an assault rifle. Nothing will be done as long as the NRA owns Republican senators.” 

“Bicycle riders should have to buy tags for their bikes. They make lanes in the street for them, including on East State, so they should have to buy a license since we have to for our cars.”

“Some words of thanks to the road crews who repaired the rough spots on Rt. 550, between Athens and state Rt. 690.” 

“Snowden for secretary of state. Trump for janitor in chief.”

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