Lisa Heinz WIA

Lisa Heinz, of Athens. 

When it comes to men, which character trait do you prefer (if you had to choose), “strong” or “sensitive”? 

“Strong, strong enough to be comfortable with himself to be able to support an insanely independent and outspoken woman. I have been blessed to be married to my husband for 17 years, who has always been supportive of me and a strong partner to lean on in times of need.”

Heather Cozart, 38, of Athens

Health-care director

 

“I do not want to choose just one. I want a little of both strong and sensitive because I think that would be my counterpart.”

Cortney Beymer, 37, of Athens

Social worker

 

“I don't think the two are mutually exclusive.”

Katy Shusta, 23, of Athens

social worker

 

“I like strong when it comes to my heavy lifting and emotional support.”

Lea Chiki, 64, of Athens

RN

 

“Since I'd view a similar question asked of men about women as both sexist and absurd, I'll have to go with the trite but true: both traits are essential, yet insufficient in and of themselves. Strength and sensitivity are certainly both vital qualities in a world increasingly connected and increasingly complex. Intelligence, moderation, participation and a good sense of self-deprecation are also all traits anyone could hope to own, and to appreciate in others.

Faith Knutsen, 53, of Athens

Associate director of operations for TechGROWTH Ohio

 

“So we went from talking politics and current events to talking about stereotypes in dating preferences?! I'm glad you did, because my dainty woman brain was starting to get tired from thinking so much.”

Sarah Nelson, 30, of Athens

Special education teacher

 

“Those aren't mutually exclusive. I married a strong and sensitive man. It's his sensitive side that bonds us. It's his strong side that carries me when I'm too affected, too weak, to carry myself. I hope that he finds the same within me.”

Kami Perritt, 38, of New Marshfield

Certified application counselor

 

“I wouldn't choose, I'd keep looking. You need both, in a man or woman.”

Ann Moneypenny, 54, of Athens

Committee chair

 

“Sensitive. Vulnerability is strength.”

Carissa Rose, 26, of Athens

Massage therapist

 

“I'm not very interested in either/or scenarios. I appreciate both characteristics in men. I would like to swap out the word ‘sensitive’ for the phrase ‘emotionally intelligent.’ It's a real shame that we still construct masculinity with a requirement for ‘strength’ that doesn't allow men to express their natural, normal human emotions. Having and showing feelings isn't a sign of weakness and it doesn't imply a lack of strength. Displaying emotional intelligence is a sign of maturity. Hurray for men with feelings!”

Jennifer Dockman, 33, of Nelsonville

Office drone

 

“I choose both, though I do not appreciate the focus of this question on men only. All people, regardless of gender, should possess these traits because they show the person is in tune with themselves both physically and mentally.”

Lisa Heinz, 46, of Albany

Doctorate student

 

“Strong mostly. I have a strong man who is sensitive when he needs to be but is strong when I can't be.”

Jennifer Theiss, 35, of Coolville

Personal assistant

 

“If I had to choose between those two, I'd choose sensitive, I think. I'm strong-willed enough, I need someone to catch me in the rare moments I admit that I have fallen.”

Meriah Bond, 35, of Nelsonville

Billing clerk

 

“Sensitive. Strong is overrated.”

Anna Stevens, 34, of Millfield

Administrative assistant

 

“I don't need to be ‘protected,’ I'd rather be valued.”

Kim Brown, 68, of Athens

Retired from OU Athletics and College of Education

 

“I guess sensitive if I have to choose between those two options. It's totally possible to be both.”

Evelina Bloom, 32, of Athens

Marketing

 

“I think a strong man is one who isn't afraid to be seen being sensitive. So ‘strong’ would be my choice."

Caitlin Seida, 26, of The Plains

Writer

 

“I have to choose strong, because a ‘sensitive’ man would find himself plowed over and wounded by my wild ways, I fear! I had a sensitive husband, and I made him cry (not on purpose). It drove me mad. So now I tend to avoid that type.”

Karen Radebaugh, 38, of Athens

Student/artist

 

“I believe a strong man is sensitive so the two are not mutually exclusive. A strong person (man or woman) knows how to relate to people in a way that empowers them to be the best they can be.”

– Connie Patterson, 36, of Athens

Assistant dean

 

“Sensitive.”

– Lily, 20, of Athens

Student

 

“I am drawn to sensitive men. There is strength in awareness of others' needs and responsiveness to them, and in awareness of one's own feelings. Tender connections are often socialized out of men in their early years. The glorification of military power in our country has its roots in the silencing of boys' emotional pain and hardening of their empathy toward those who seem different from themselves.”

– Helen Horn, 83, of New Marshfield

Former teacher, counselor, oral historian, writer

“Supportive and intelligent. I'm a very independent person, and my significant other needs to be supportive of that and my goals, as crazy as some can be. I think they need to have a good head on their shoulders and be able to hold conversations about politics, economy, anything.”

– Amanda Pugh, 23, of Athens

Real estate assistant

 

“I prefer a sensitively strong man, but not a strongly sensitive one.”

– Jennifer Schwirian, 40-something, of The Plains, Worker bee

 

“Sensitivity outweighs being strong any day. I'm strong and need to be balanced by a sensitive man. Some of my best friends in life are sensitive men who can relate to me on an emotional level.”

– Amanda Sharrai, 38, of Athens

Realtor

 

“My husband possesses both, and he is an excellent partner because of having these two traits. I can't select just one because both are needed to make an individual a whole person.”

– Marcy OBrien, 63, of Shade

Classified employee, OU

 

“Personally, I would have to choose strong. I am an outspoken person who is extremely stubborn, and I do not think a sensitive guy would be able to handle my personality.”

– Nikki Burcher, 22, of Glouster

Graphic designer

 

“I am fortunate. I have both strong and sensitive men in my life. I would never want to choose between the two character traits, and I don't think anyone should have to pick just one.”

– Emily Brunton, 29, of Glouster

Optician

 

“This question in and of itself is ridiculous. It assumes that one is appropriate to the male gender and one isn't. We are not one thing or the other, and our roles as different genders do not need to be differentiated as such.”

– Erin Nash, 41, of Amesville

Librarian and massage therapist

 

“I think this is perpetuating gender stereotypes. Why can't they be both? Is one better than the other?”

– Natalie Eskey, 32, of Athens

Baker/business owner

 

“Funny and smart.”

– Vicky Mattson, 55, of Athens

Homemaker

 

“Sensitive – I don’t want a man thinking he is stronger than he really is.”

– Tabitha Rhoades, 24, of Glouster

 

Should young women feel obliged to avoid wearing alluring or revealing clothing when going out for the evening?

“I do not think anyone should feel obliged to do anything. I do think people should practice safe life choices like (not going) anywhere alone at night, etc. If the assumption is that alluring clothing equals rape, I think that is incorrect. Rape is a crime of violence and power, and most times nothing to do with sex or attraction in my opinion.”

Heather Cozart, 38, of Athens

Health-care director

 

“This is definitely a loaded question. Do I look at a girl walking across court street wearing jean shorts that literally show her rear end and high heals as I am sitting in my minivan feeling frumpy and think, ‘WTF are they thinking?’ YES! But that is just a little bit of jealousy stemming from my control top underwear. You should be able to wear whatever you want to wear, but girls remember that comfort is key.

Cortney Beymer, 37, of Athens

Social worker

 

“I don't thinking women should feel obligated to wear any particular clothing ever.”

Katy Shusta, 23, of Athens

Social worker

 

“Obliged? Wear what you want but have a posse of good friends who won't let you get separated from them.”

Lea Chiki, 64, of Athens

RN

 

“No but they shouldn't feel obliged to wear revealing clothes either.”

Christin Tripp, 30, of Athens

Analyst/Econ instructor

 

“No. She should be able to wear what she wants without the fear of being attacked. What we should be doing is educating boys and men about respect and equality. Our gender does not make us victims.”

Amanda Conrath, 39, of Athens

Accounting clerk

 

“Hell no! Regardless of how a woman dresses, no means no. Their appearance is no defense for any sexual crime. That said, if a woman dresses in a way that is expected to draw attention to themselves, they should not be surprised, or offended, if that attention comes from someone they did not desire it from.”

Kami Perritt, 38, of New Marshfield

Certified application counselor

 

“No woman and men should wear whatever they want. That said, I wouldn't advise mixing a butt cheek bearing skirt and 5" pumps with consuming six shots of alcohol and wandering around not having your wits about you. The culture of rape is out there, and until it changes, drunk, alone and looking sexy is not safe. That said, you could be walking home from the library wearing your grandma's sweater and get jumped too.”

Ann Moneypenny, 54, of Athens

Committee chair at Upgrade Athens County

 

“Women should be allowed to wear whatever they want. Legally, women are allowed to be topless in Ohio. As a young girl, I lived in the country and played outside without a shirt much of my childhood. I remember the day when someone looked at me differently and I automatically felt different. Women need to stop judging and men need to stop harassing.”

Carissa Rose, 26, of Athens

Massage therapist

 

“Um, no. The implication of this question is asking, should women dress more modestly, in the hopes of avoiding harassment or assault? That's just not how any of this works. Harassment and assault on women are acts of violence that will not be deterred and are not encouraged by the clothing that a woman feels comfortable wearing, regardless of her destination or time of day.”

Jennifer Dockman, 33, of Nelsonville

Office drone

 

“All women, regardless of age, should feel free to wear whatever clothing makes them feel lovely. ‘Alluring’ and ‘revealing’ are descriptions that come from the eye of the beholder, not the person wearing the clothes, and if ‘lovely’ is ‘alluring’ or ‘revealing’ to someone else, so what? Judgement on a person's choice of clothing does not belong in today's world.”

Lisa Heinz, 46, of Albany

Doctorate student

 

“Not at all. Women don't invite sexual assault no matter how they dress.”

Alisa Loudner, 46, of Nelsonville

Sales associate

 

“Never. Regardless of how you dress, how dark a path you walk home, or how much you drink, no one has the right to victimize you.”

Meriah Bond, 35, of Nelsonville

Billing clerk

 

“I feel everyone should be able to wear what they are comfortable in. I do, however, think it is important for them to know what others may think and possibly do. Not to shame them in anyway but to make them aware of their surroundings. All girls in any sort of dress should know to be aware.”

Virginia Dykeman, 40, of Athens

Home-health aide

 

“No. It doesn't matter what you wear. No means no. Stop victim shaming!”

Jessann Black, 26, of Athens

Server

 

“What? No. WTF kind of question is that? Young women should feel obliged to wear whatever they feel like wearing, whenever they feel like wearing it, just like young men do.”

Anna Stevens, 34, of Millfield

Administrative assistant

 

“Part of me says that she should be able to wear what she wants to in an effort to assert her individuality. And that she should be confident to do that without hesitation for her safety. I was never an adolescent male , but there are times when I am skeptical of their motivation, especially when mind altering substances (legal or not) interfere with the judgment of either party. I think there is a difference if you are going with a man you know or if you are trying to just pick somebody up. Men respond to different stimuli than women, so I believe women need to respect that.”

Kim Brown, 68, of Athens

Retired from OU Athletics and College of Education

 

“They should not feel obliged. If that's how a woman would really like to express herself that's up to her. Feeling good about herself as a person, not just how she looks, is the most important thing. “

Evelina Bloom, 32, of Athens

Marketing

 

“No. You should wear whatever you want. However, I just don’t get it when they wear outfits that expose skin in January. It’s so cold!!!!”

Jessica Fletcher, 26, of Athens

Music therapist

 

“I think women should wear whatever makes them feel good. Young, old, fat, skinny - if you feel good wearing something and have the confidence to pull it off, go for it and enjoy!”

Caitlin Seida, 26, of The Plains

Writer

 

“NO. But the media has done a great job of grooming our young ladies. I think it lacks self-respect and sets young women up for eating disorders and body shaming. But it is very embedded into our culture, and isn't going to change anytime soon. Girls are trying to attract admiration of the boys, and our culture encourages it. This is apparent by a visit to any juniors department in clothing stores. Sadly enough, it starts at such a young age anymore.”

Karen Radebaugh, 38, of Athens

Student/artist

 

“No. Women should wear whatever they want. How a woman dresses is up to her and does not in any way directly or indirectly provide permission to treat her negatively.”

– Connie Patterson, 36, of Athens

Assistant dean

 

“Athens is a small community with a lot of students; rape culture is an issue in Athens. There needs to be more transparency with the police in alerting the student body about ANY case of sexual assault that involves a student, whether it's on or off campus.”

– Lily, 20, of Athens

Student

 

“Being alluring is natural and delightful. So is sexuality when it is grounded in mutual tenderness, responsibly under-girded with contraception, and protected from venereal disease. I find some of the tight, revealing clothes sold to women these days are likely to make us into sex objects, when what we want is warm connection.”

– Helen Horn, 83, of New Marshfield

Former teacher, counselor, oral historian, writer

 

“I think showing it all is absurd, but there's no reason women should have to cover up because men can't control themselves and listen when someone says no. I think instead of cracking down on women and how they're dressed, we should focus on teaching boys to respect women.”

– Amanda Pugh, 23, of Athens

Real estate assistant

 

“All women should wear what makes them feel comfortable. For me, that might be a black turtleneck and my mom jeans. For younger women, it might be something slightly hipper and more fashion forward. Life is short, it's OK for your skirts to be, too.”

– Jennifer Schwirian, 40-something, of The Plains, Worker bee

 

“It's simple. Women should wear what they want, when they want.”

– Amanda Sharrai, 38, of Athens

Realtor

 

“NEVER! What you wear should not matter. I would also like to add that wearing revealing attire should NEVER put you at risk of being hurt or raped. NO means NO.”

– Marcy OBrien, 63, of Shade

Classified employee, OU

 

“All I am going to say on this subject is that if you don't want a creep grinding all up on you at a bar, then wear clothing that covers most of your body. Also, ladies please do not leave your drink unintended :).”

– Nikki Burcher, 22, of Glouster

Graphic designer

 

“I think women should respect themselves. If they truly, in their hearts feel good about themselves when they wear revealing clothing, more power to them. I hope to raise my children to feel good about themselves, without having to flaunt their bodies to anyone.”

– Emily Brunton, 29, of Glouster

Optician

 

“This question is absolutely ridiculous and assumes that women can do something to avoid being raped. It's ignorant to think women's clothing has anything to do with sexual violence (which is about anger and not sex). This fixation on what women put on their bodies is absurd and misogynistic, and sends the message to victims that they could have avoided being raped if they had just been wearing the right thing.”

– Erin Nash, 41, of Amesville

Librarian and massage therapist

 

“Again, I object to this question. It's verging on victim blaming.”

– Natalie Eskey, 32, of Athens

Baker/business owner

 

“No, but they should be aware of the risks.”

– Vicky Mattson, 55, of Athens

Homemaker

 

“No, men should have more respect for women.”

– Tabitha Rhoades, 24, of Glouster

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