Budget cuts announced Ohio University officials announced their newest budget cut yesterday in a letter written by Vice President for Finance and Administration Stephen Silvering.

Wal-Mart, Strouds Run and the Convocation Center's roof. What do these places have in common? The founder of 8-Fest, Dom Pizza, announced yesterday new potential locations for this May's edition of the Woodstock-style student concert festival.

ATHENS — An 18-day-old revolt led by the faculty of Ohio University ousted President Roddy McDavell Friday, shattering seven years of political stasis here and overturning the established order of the OU and Athens communities.

Health officials confirmed yesterday that an outbreak of dizziness, cold sweats and uncontrollable retching that swept Athens last May, though attributed at first to a salmonella infection from a local Mexican restaurant, was actually induced by the spectacle of thousands of middle-aged matrons cavorting like brain-hammered lap-dance girls during Ohio University’s Moms Weekend.

Since Athens’ traffic circle opened last fall at the intersection of Richland Avenue and Ohio Rt. 682, fears that the unfamiliar driving pattern might cause a spike in traffic accidents have proved unfounded. An Ohio University graduate student, however, warned Tuesday that during research for his master’s thesis, he’s come to believe that a much bigger, unsuspected danger may be lurking in the “roundabout” – incredibly powerful mini-tornadoes.

In an unprecedented move over the weekend, Athens Mayor Paul Wiehl mistakenly signed a contract with a major corporation to privatize all government and community services within the city.

As Ohio University’s budget woes deepen, OU officials have faced mounting criticism over the use of student general fees to subsidize a mediocre athletics program few students seem to care about. At last week’s Trustee meeting President Roddy McDavell moved decisively to address these concerns, unveiling a plan to radically reshape OU sports through invention of a super-bouncy elastic gel that will make Bobcat teams virtually unstoppable on the playing field.

New research out from the Institute on Parenting and Peccadilloes shows that the practice of spanking is on an upward swing amongst parents and perverts nationwide, figuratively and literally.

The name of the game is denial.

At Ohio University, some students love to play.

Ohio University announced Thursday that it has approved a proposal from Alden Library to add a new option to the Café Bibliotech’s menu: alcohol.