With help of booze, OU hopes to up library use

With unanimous votes from Faculty, Graduate and Student senates, and approval from the administration, the change will go into effect beginning spring quarter. The university expects to receive positive feedback about the plan.

“We want students to feel happy and satisfied here at OU,” declared President Roddy McDavell (who was deposed soon after the announcement. See separate story in this humor issue).

McDavell said he has heard a lot of outcry from students who were unable to order alcoholic beverages during their late-night study sessions at the library. With coffee, tea and Red Bull currently being sold to serve those with caffeine cravings, it seemed unfair that individuals with alcohol addictions were not having their needs met as well, McDavell said.

“Academics are our number-one priority,” said McDavell. “If students are being distracted from their studies and there is a way we can help, then the university is going to take every action it possibly can to address this problem.”

Students typically leave the library around midnight, the closing hour for every floor apart from the second and Learning Commons, according to Grey Goose, a library employee and OU junior studying nutrition.

“A lot of students seem to be heading to the bars around this time,” said Goose. “Many of them are stressed out from schoolwork and are looking for a way to kick back and relax.”

Goose said she believes a lot more students would remain at the library if they could get their alcoholic fix.

“I’ve never been to the library, but if I knew I could pound a few beers there, then I would probably start going,” said Jim Beam, an OU fifth-year student studying biochemistry and electrical engineering. “Well, probably not to study, but definitely to hang out.”

The university said it wants to help students like Beam, who admitted his grades have suffered over the years because of his drinking habits.

“If we can keep just one student out of the bar and in the library on a Monday night, then we’ve already accomplished our goal,” said McDavell.

The university said it believes it will see an upward spike in average GPA after the proposition goes into action. McDavell said spring quarter provides the perfect opportunity to test the new change out, because statistics show students are in their most studious mindset during this time. According to McDavell, also known as “Old Granddad,” professors, parents and students are very optimistic about the idea.

“Sometimes I just need a little pick-me-up or something to wake me up when I’m doing work,” said Jack Daniels, an OU senior studying marketing.

Daniels, who is a daily visitor to Alden, said he has observed a great deal of demand for this type of thing, especially from his friends who study on the third floor. “This tends to be where the most serious students go,” Daniels said. “There is a potential market here to help those that need it most.”

The university said blueprints to install a bar on the third floor are already under review.— by Anna Luczkow