The Best of Athens 2011 - Nightlife

Best of Athens Readers' Choice Awards for the category of NIGHTLIFE.

Best Place to Meet Men
Casa

The single gals recommend congregating at Casa Cantina voted Best Place to Meet Men. Apparently the men are as spicy hot as the habanero salsa.

Second place goes to The Union, while third place goes to Jackie O’s – might have something to do with their happy hours… (see above).

Honorable mentions include Red Brick, Tony’s, Lucky’s, any OU class, Dave Rave, Cat’s Eye, BellaVino, Donkey Coffee, Alden Library, church, CI, Courtside, “don’t care” (already in relationships, perhaps?), The Pub, Athens Farmers Market, bars during deer season (hmm…?), “don’t swing that way,” Kroger, men’s room, Pawpurr’s, The Pigskin and “wish I knew!” Well, now you do!

Best Happy Hour
Jackie O’s Pub & Brewery

It’s 5 o’clock somewhere – and the best place to get your drink on is Jackie O’s Pub & Brewery. With its prime location near campus and vast selection of handcrafted beers, it’s the ideal place to hit up after work or class.

Runner up is Tony’s Tavern on West State, which beat out Paw Purr’s by merely one vote. (See, each vote does matter!)

Voters also like to head to Casa, Applebee’s, The Union, Pub, Red Brick, Lakeview, Sonic, Abrio’s, Courtside, Maplewood Inn, Cat’s Eye, The Oak Room, Broney’s, Buffalo Wild Wings, Burrito Buggy (for happy-hour-priced burritos, we presume), Cat’s Den, “don’t know,” Pigskin, The Skull and The Junction.

Best Local Band or Performer
The Royales

This year, The Royales yet again win the Best Band category. This funkin’ rock confabulation gets better and better every year, and is one of the few local bands that can guarantee a good crowd almost any time of the year. That’s why it’s a big favorite with bars and events that need a solid draw.

The Royales need to look over their shoulders, however, because gaining ground is second-place finisher Duke Jr. and the Smokey Boots. Also coming from the roots-rock side of the track, DJASB trend more Americana and alt.country. Since coming on the scene a year or two ago, they’ve become another top local bar draw.

Third place is Elemental Groove Theory, a relatively new funky, horn-driven outfit that can light a spark on the dance floor whenever they play.

Others that received multiple votes, in descending order, include Skeletonwitch, Dave Rave, Mindfish, Any Color You’d Like, Broken Ring, Coolville Hot Club, Hellnaw, Scubadog, Southeat Engine, Rattlestrap String Band, and a bunch more. And we mean A BUNCH. It’s amazing our town has enough bands to fill a whole page in small type.

Best Bar for People Over 30
Tony’s Tavern

Sure, the young’uns at OU tend to dominate the bar scene, but that certainly doesn’t mean the over-30 set is excluded from all the fun. No siree! Tony’s was voted the place to be for the slightly older (though still buzzing) demographic.

Earning second place was Casa, followed by Jackie O’s Pub & Brewery in third place.

Notable mentions, in descending order, include The Smiling Skull, Maplewood Inn, Broney’s, The Union, Abrio’s, Courtside, Cat’s Den, Buffalo Wild Wings, Pigskin, Bunch of Grapes Tavern and Lucky’s.

Best Bar Pick-up Line
Hi, can I buy you a drink?

Ah, the silken craft of seduction. Your glances meet across the crowded bar. The wordless knowledge of your mutual hunger arcs between you like a subtle, pulsing voltage, pulling you closer. Your fingertips touch. Your gaze locks into hers. You whisper the burning, tender words that dance in your soul like fierce, blue-white stars: “Hi! Can I buy you a drink?”

And the waves pound the shore.

Yeppir. Once again, our charm-slingin’ readers tell us that the most effective phrase in the entire Pepe LaPue handbook of sure-fire erotic patter is a variant of that same old standby that wins every year. If you have a poor memory, write a note on your hand like Sarah Palin before you go out drinking: “Greet pickup target informally. Offer to purchase alcohol.” Then get ready for some good, good lovin’, my friend.

The second-place winning line will surely exert an equally hypnotic power over your chosen objet d’boink, and smells twice as fresh as a newly sprung daisy: Yes, it’s “Nice shoes. Wanna f---?” Well, I guess since you like my shoes…

After that come about a billion runners-up and “honorable mentions,” and most of them also suck snail droppings.

Of course, in this category the fun – if you want to call it that – is in the one-vote wonders. For your delectation and possible future use, then, we offer:

“I know every rose has its thorn, but if you would just pour some sugar on me, we could rock and roll all night and par-tay every day.” “Have you ever had a pawpaw?” “Hey, girl, let me holla at you.” “Please don’t support picking people up in bars. This is why we can’t have nice things.” “Stop f---ing staring at me.” “Wanna see a bedbug?” “You be the Dairy Queen and I’ll be the Burger King. You treat me right, and I’ll do it your way.” “You’ve got that Hi Pro Glow.”

Say, coming up with such clever lines is as easy as pie! Here are a couple we wrote ourselves: “You know the winning bar pickup line in The Athens NEWS Best of Athens contest? I wrote it.” “You qualify as an attractive receptacle for my warm, viscous fluids.” “I am so strong that I can pick up this bar.”

Best bartender
Jonathan Holmberg, Jackie O’s

When you want a drink poured for you at one of the many local watering holes, the guy you want doing it is Jonathan Holmberg, who comes in this Chihuahua. Just kidding about the Chihuahua part (though he does, or used to).

Holmberg is also the guy who’s been heading up the Halloween effort for many years now. This is one cool cat. He’s a pretty smooth dude. In terms of coolness, he makes the Fonz look like the guy who narrates “Reefer Madness.” Holmberg is so cool, cucumbers say that they’re as cool as a Holmberg. The Most Interesting Man in the World was once Holmberg’s protégé. Not to mention, Holmberg pours one helluva beverage.

As runner-up for best bartender stands A.J. Castro from The Union. Castro make Tom Cruise in “Cocktail” look like Lloyd from “The Shining.” He’s got the drink-making moves that make the ladies swoon.

In third place is Bruce Reed also of Jackie O’s. Reed has established himself over the years as a master mixologist and all-around good people. In fact, he’s such good people that it was Reed who was first referred to as an individual in the plural sense as being “good people.” Congrats to him.

Best Open Stage
Donkey Coffee & Espresso

It only makes sense that this year’s top winner for Best Open Stage would once again be Donkey Coffee & Espresso, because an open stage is a place where you can espress yourself. And if that involves a donkey, so much the better!

But seriously, folks – Donkey does host a very nice open stage, and the lack of alcohol makes for some polite and attentive audiences. It’s like performing at a bohemian golf tournament.

Second place goes to Jackie O’s, which moves up from third last year. In doing so, it switches place with last year’s second-place finisher, Casa Cantina, which this year takes third.

Honorable mentions go to the Smiling Skull Saloon and the Front Room at Ohio University’s Baker Center.

Best place to dance
Casa Cantina

How you gonna do it if you really don’t want to dance? By standing on the wall? Get our back up off the wall. Dance. You won’t be able to help it if you’re at Casa Cantina, voted this year’s best place to dance.

Just walking into Casa you’ll find your body doing things your mind just can’t control. It all starts with the beat. Suddenly your foot is tapping. Next thing you know your hips are swaying. Pretty soon your arms are in the air, your head is banging, your pelvis is gyrating, and your mind is gone. You’re in the moment, and the moment is good.

Next best place in Athens to shake what your momma gave you is Jackie O’s Pub and Brewery. Be sure to wear your dancing shoes when you step into Jackie O’s because the music will infuse your soul and you will end up with no choice in the matter but to dance if you’re caught up in the holy ghost trance. If you stop, they will put the killer ants in your pants.

And finally, third best place to dance in Athens is The Union, host of Dance or Die. Well, you’ve heard your options. Dance… or die! Make your decision. Now.

Honorable mentions go to Pawpurr’s, Red Brick and Tony’s Tavern.

Best Place to Meet Women
Casa Cantina

Repeating from last year as the best place to engage in refined social intercourse with the daughters of Eve – or finds you some wimmings, if you’re more of a Popeye-the-Sailor-Man type – is Casa. Go to the Casa Cantina (bar) side if you want to meet a honky-tonk angel; try the Casa Nueva (restaurant) side if you prefer a hongry woman.

Second place goes to The Pub, which also won first place for best hamburger. Hamburgers and women, together. We’ll just leave that alone.

Third place goes to The Union Grill. A lot of the women over there may be wearing black eye shadow and pretending they’re vampires, so don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Honorable mention goes to Jackie O’s.