Wise Up (6-07-10)

Authors

"¢ As editor of the Emporia Gazette, William Allen White read and rejected many stories. A woman wrote him after one of her stories was rejected, "You sent back last week a story of mine. I know that you did not read the story, for as a test I pasted together pages 18, 19, and 20. The story came back with these pages still pasted. So I know that you are a fraud and turn down stories without reading them."� Mr. White wrote her in reply, "At breakfast when I open an egg I don't have to eat it all to determine if it is bad."�

"¢ Before he became famous, James M. Barrie, author of "Peter Pan,"� made the rounds of theatrical producers, asking them to read his plays. By means of a letter of introduction, he persuaded John Hare to read a play, then waited outside Mr. Hare's office as he read it. Soon, roars of indignation came from the office, and Mr. Barrie returned to find Mr. Hare jumping up and down on the play "” Mr. Barrie's handwriting was so bad that Mr. Hare was unable to read it. Afterward, Mr. Barrie paid other people to make transcripts of his plays.

"¢ Franklin Pierce Adams wrote a long-running column that frequently used contributions by other humorists. At the end of each year, Mr. Adams gave a gold watch to the person who had contributed the most items to his column. Other than that, there was no remuneration. Once, Mr. Adams was asked why he didn't give the gold watch to the contributor of the best item. Mr. Adams thought a moment, then said, "There is no such thing as the "˜best' contribution. The fact that any contribution is accepted by me means that it is peerless."�

"¢ Frequently, when comic writer Robert Benchley wanted a plausible excuse for not completing a piece of writing by his deadline, he asked his mother to send telegrams, supposedly sent by himself, saying that she was ill and he was staying with her. However, sometimes he didn't care if the excuse was plausible. Once, he asked his mother to send this telegram in his name: "SORRY I CANT ATTEND LUNCHEON TODAY BECAUSE I AM IN BOSTON STOP DONT KNOW WHY I AM IN BOSTON BUT IT MUST BE IMPORTANT BECAUSE HERE I AM."�

"¢ Mario Puzo wrote for men's adventure magazines before becoming a famous novelist. Once, because he was short of money, he asked Marvel Comics maven Stan Lee if he could write a comic-book story for him. Unfortunately, he came back to Mr. Lee without a story because writing it was too hard. He said, "I could write a novel in the time it would take me to figure this damn thing out."� As if to prove his point, he sat down and wrote "The Godfather."�

"¢ The person who discovered author Anita Loos in England and helped make her comic novel "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes"� popular there was poet A.E. Housman. He read the novel, then told all his friends and fellow professors at Cambridge University about it. Soon everyone in Cambridge was reading it and thereafter the novel became popular throughout England.

"¢ William Faulkner once stayed for a few days at the New York apartment of writers Frank Sullivan and Corey Ford. When he left, he took a copy of "The Sound and the Fury"� from Mr. Ford's bookshelf, then inscribed it, "Corey Ford's book is hereby presented to Frank Sullivan with the regards of Wm. Faulkner."� Mr. Sullivan declined to return the book to Mr. Ford.

"¢ In a burst of creativity, Carl Reiner wrote 13 scripts for what became "The Dick Van Dyke Show"� even though he had no guarantee that the series would ever be produced. This amazed veteran TV writer Frank Tarloff, who told Mr. Reiner, "Carl, you don't do it that way. You don't write number two until they've bought number one."�

"¢ Sometimes Mark Twain was slow in answering letters. Once a friend wanted a quick reply from Mr. Twain, so he enclosed in his letter some paper and a stamp. Very quickly, a postcard arrived from Mr. Twain: "Thanks for the sheet of writing paper and the stamp. Please send an envelope."�

"¢ Sometimes the families of authors act strangely. One author's 16-year-old daughter decided to make her father's book a bestseller. For several hours a day, she rode the New York subways, pretending to read her father's book and holding it up so that everyone could clearly see the book cover.

"¢ When Don Adams was approached to star as Maxwell Smart in the TV series "Get Smart,"� he asked who wrote the script for the pilot episode. On hearing the answer"”comedy geniuses Mel Brooks and Buck Henry "” he said, "Ok, I'll do it."�

"¢ A friend of science fiction writer Philip K. Dick wrote a book titled "Snakes of Hawaii."� Some libraries even contacted the friend to get information about ordering the book. However, the book was a joke. All the pages of the book were blank because Hawaii has no snakes.

"¢ F. Scott Fitzgerald could be disconcerting to talk to. Sometimes during a conversation, he would reach into a pocket, take out a pad of paper, write on it, return it to his pocket, then say, "I just thought of a phrase I didn't want to forget. Now then, what were you saying?"�

"¢ Richard Brautigan, author of "Trout Fishing in America,"� once visited Waldon Pond and was shocked at what he saw. He complained, "Where the hell are the trash bins? What would Henry David Thoreau think if he could see this place now?"�

"¢ At the end of their career, authors sometimes publish a collection of their writing and title it "The Works of "¦."� However, "The Works of Max Beerbohm"� appeared when Max was all of 23 years old.

"¢ George M. Cohan, reputed to be the first actor to ever own a car, had an interesting way of writing plays. He used to write an act, rehearse it, then write the next act, rehearse it, etc.

"¢ O.O. McIntyre was a writer from Gallipolis, Ohio. He was once asked by an advertising agency to write something that had never been written before. He did "” he wrote, "Hoot nanny on the hickey."�