Wise Up (5-24-10)

Books

"¢ British author Stephen Benatar wrote for decades, but without much success. True, he did get some novels published, such as "The Man on the Bridge."� (His children helped by praying that Dad would find a publisher.) But despite good reviews, often he could not find a publisher for the novels that he kept producing because he so loved writing. This led to some creative problem-solving on his part. In fact, after "Such Men Are Dangerous"� was rejected many times, he persuaded his local 49council to act as the publisher of the novel, despite this protest by a local Tory councilor: "It's the duty of the council to dispose of rubbish"”not publish it!"� Eventually, he created his own imprint and republished his novels "” and sold them himself. He often signs books at bookstores, and very often he will approach a stranger and say, "Hello, I'm signing copies of my novel. Would you be so kind as to take a look?"� Then he shoves one of his books into the hands of the stranger and walks off. This approach works well. He says, "I remember one manager at a bookstore in Kingston saying, "˜I'll eat my hat if you sell any copies here. My clientele aren't the type to go in for this sort of thing.' I sold a hundred copies that day."�

Andrew Raymond from Waterstone's in Staines is amazed by Mr. Benatar's success in selling books: "He has a charismatic presence that people like. He sells around 50 books every time he comes in, which is a fantastic achievement for an unknown author."� Mr. Benatar says, "My record is 128 books in one day. I actually outsold J.K. Rowling and John Grisham that day. But then, I was there, and they weren't."�

One day, he shoved a copy of "Wish Her Safe at Home"� into the hands of Edwin Franks, the managing editor of the publishing section of "The New York Review of Books."� Mr. Franks read and loved the book. He says, "It was a lucky accident that I ran into Benatar "” or should I say he ran into me? I read the book straight away and was knocked out. It's not every day you find a neglected classic from an Englishman who is still alive. Everyone in the office read it and was just as excited as I was."�

The publishing section of "The New York Review of Books"� published "Wish Her Safe at Home"� and suddenly Mr. Benatar had a success, something unexpected by his children. Prue, his daughter, says, "I think we're all delighted but rather surprised by Dad's sudden success. We had to watch him all the time we were growing up, always writing and never getting anywhere. At the time we resented the fact that he wasn't spending more time with us and wasn't making enough money."� Eileen, his former wife, says, "I think it's great that he's at last being recognized. He has devoted his whole life to his books. I admit there were times when I thought he was wasting his time. He had the talent but not the luck. And now he's been vindicated."�

"¢ Amazon.com has some odd books for sale, including "How to Pick Up Topless Dancers,"� by Derek Evans, which has one of the funniest reviews I have ever read. Under the heading "It did not really do the trick for me,"� "A Customer"� wrote this: "Sure, the title sounds great but I found (through many painful experiences) that you need more than just a book to pick up on beautiful women who strip for a living. Sure it's my dream but I think it will have to stay just a dream. The tips in the book sound convincing when you're at home reading them but when you actually go to the clubs and try it out you just get dissapointed. There were a few girls that seemed kind of with it at first but after trying out a few more things from the book, they just got creeped out. Now, I cant show my my face anymore in some of my favorite establishments and I even (get this!) wound up with a restrainting order from one girl. All this stemmed from the tips in this book. I could scare girls easily enough on my own without the book. The book also fails to adequately describe the violence that bouncers are willing to exhibit upon someone who bugs the dancers. Ouch."�

So what do strippers think of this book? Someone posted this review: "i'm a stipper and i get this s*** all the time. a topless club is my place of business, not a place i go to because i want to meet men. i don't like getting cheated out of my money. i don't like men hanging around the door when i leave trying to get me to come to breakfast. there are women who'll go home to party with these men, but not for free. we are all working women, not free sex toys for joe blow. if a guy wants to earn our respect, just pay us. these techniques are guarenteed to make strippers not like you. i wish guys didn't buy and believe this book because it is a crock of s***."� (Note to students: Learn to proofread, or you can end up like these people.)

"¢ People do make mistakes. While Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., author of "Slaughterhouse-Five,"� was on a panel at City College, a woman asked him this question: "Why did you put exactly 100 "˜So it goes's' in "˜Slaughterhouse-Five'?"� Mr. Vonnegut replied that he was not aware that he had used that exact number. Also on the panel was critic John Simon, who disappeared while everyone had coffee, and then reappeared and said to Mr. Vonnegut, "103."� Some critics have been very happy to place Mr. Vonnegut in a category in which he may or may not belong. At a party, he was introduced to cultural commissar Jason Epstein, who thought for a moment, said "Science fiction,"� and then walked away. Mr. Vonnegut says, "He just had to place me, that's all."�

"¢ "My favorite writers are Joyce, Tolstoy, Proust, and Flaubert, but right now I'm reading' The Little Engine That Could.'"� "” Emo Philips