How to avoid roomate conficts

As a student living with three girls "“ my twin sister and two friends "“ I know a thing or two about roommate conflicts. It's never of the hair-pulling or glass-smashing variety; rather, it mainly involves awkward passive-aggressive silence that looms over even those uninvolved in the dispute.

According to the Higher Education Research Institute at UCLA, 47.9 percent of college students said they had "œfrequent" or "œoccasional" difficulty getting along with their roommates/housemates. I'm willing to bet the other 52.1 percent stay at their significant other's place most of the time.

The college handbook "The Naked Roommate: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into in College" devotes a chapter to dealing with particular roommates, such as "The Lying, Stealing, Klepto Roommate," and "The Your Girlfriend/Boyfriend Doesn't Live Here Roommate." The book's author, Harlan Cohen "“ a syndicated columnist who appears in The Athens NEWS "“ writes in the handbook that the number one rule is to "Respect each other's differences and make rules before you need rules."

The most basic tip I've learned is to address problems with the offending person (NOT the other roommates) as they arise. Also, avoid waiting till you have a laundry list of complaints: no one likes to listen to a blubbering, ranting complainer. Any reasonable points will fall on deaf ears.

A common issue with living in small quarters is noise. One of my roommates and I have class on Fridays; the other two do not. This can present a problem if my one roommate and I want to have people over, and the others are studying. We've made it a rule to discuss having people over ahead of time, or we go elsewhere to hang out.

The kitchen also can be the site of many problems, particularly when it comes to groceries. We distinguish one another's food with small circle stickers that come in four different colors. Everything we buy from the grocery gets tagged with a sticker, except things like milk, which we take turns buying. As a side note: just because someone's Chinese takeout has been stinking up the fridge for a week does NOT make it free game. Better to ask first. We also keep a stash of food above the microwave that's "up for grabs" "“ and usually it's for a good reason: stale cookies, leftover previously popped popcorn, etc.

But reciprocity definitely pays off "“ you don't want to be too selfish with your food. You'll be sorry next time you run out of something and no one will let you borrow some. Sauce-less spaghetti is pretty blah.

The delegating of undesirable chores can create conflict as well. Junior Beth Kilgallion, who lives with two senior guys "“ one of them being her boyfriend "“ said the only issue they have pertains to cleaning.

"Guys don't normally want to do that," Kilgallion said. She and her boyfriend normally do the dishes "“ or she does them alone, she said "“ because they do the cooking. However, I'm sure other people would consider cooking to be a chore, and thus consider the chefs exempt from cleanup.

We tend to take turns with chores like cleaning the bathrooms and emptying the dishwasher (which, by the way, should preferably not be emptied at 7 a.m. if the kitchen is bordered by the bedrooms. Awakening to the clanging of dishes isn't very pleasant.)

But regardless of the conflict, remember that communication and compromise are highly important. Also, living with other people is a learning experience, and having some conflict is inevitable.

I can honestly say that despite (or because of) the occasional squabble, my roommates are like a second family to me.