Smiling shouldn't take this much work

Dear Harlan: I don't understand if I'm just worn out or tired, but I am never happy. I feel as if there is nothing to look forward to. Sure, I hang out with my friends and have fun once in a while. But those kinds of things just temporarily lighten my mood. I've been like this since high school, but I tend to just smile it out. There are times when I'm really happy, but those fleeting moments are always followed by a crash. It's not that I'm bored, and there is really nothing missing in my life. I just feel worn out. Every day I wake up hoping I don't have to exert myself or do much of anything. My friends don't really think anything of it. My parents sometimes ask me what's wrong, but I brush it off. I really don't understand it myself. Sometimes I'm perfectly fine, and then other times I'm just down. It's getting to be a real problem now, though, because being in college, I have tons of work to do. But I have no motivation whatsoever to get it done. I get it done and do get good grades but only because I do need to get somewhere in life. I have no motivation to be anything either, such as a doctor, lawyer, teacher, etc. I just don't care anymore. I shouldn't be thinking this way. There was a time when I used to have a drinking problem, but my friends made me stop. Now I stay away from all of that altogether. If you ever see me, I look like a perfectly normal and happy person, but honestly, I try so hard to cover myself up. Sometimes, I don't even bother. I really want to be normal again. - Barely Moving

Dear Barely Moving: You must be exhausted from trying to be so happy and smiling it out for so many years. When you're powerless, there's one thing to do. Get help. Smiling doesn't have to be this hard. If you had back pain, leg pain or head pain, you wouldn't pretend to be pain-free and smile it out. You're in pain. If you are able to make it to class, you can make it to see a therapist. There are people who can help you treat it. Talk to your parents. Make an appointment with a therapist on campus. Get help and learn to smile again.

Dear Harlan: I'm a freshman in college and I'm also a single mom of one who came here right out of high school. I was wondering what advice you had for someone in my situation. - Single Mom

Dear Single Mom: First, you're awesome. You are amazing. You are a hero. Not only are you creating a world of options for yourself, you are teaching your child what it means to be a woman who takes control of her life. Never give up. Yes, I will never understand what it means to be a single mom, but when it gets too hard (and it will), get help. Make friends with students on campus and create connections and even find a baby sitter or two. Also, see if there's a single mom support group. In addition, investigate the daycare resources on campus or baby-sitting (for study breaks). Finally, lean on the professors and campus professionals and don't keep your situation a secret. You'll be shocked how many people will work with you to help you be successful.

(c) Harlan Cohen 2009. Distributed by King Features Syndicate Inc.

Harlan is the author of "Dad's Pregnant Too" (Sourcebooks). Write Harlan at harlan(at)helpmeharlan.com or visit online: www.helpmeharlan.com. All letters submitted become property of the author. Send paper to Help Me, Harlan! 2506 N. Clark St., Ste. 223, Chicago, IL 60614.