Dear Harlan: I have been in college only a few weeks, and I can tell already that this is not where I want to spend the next four years of my life. There's nothing wrong with the college: It's beautiful, the people are nice and friendly, the classes are interesting and not too difficult. However, it just doesn't feel right. I am thinking about transferring at the end of the year, or possibly the end of the semester. Herein lies the problem: I want to transfer to a community college near my home. I think a lot of people would see this as a huge step backward, going from a fairly selective, private liberal-arts college to a community college. I feel I should tell you, however, I wouldn't be going into this without a plan. I want to study business and entrepreneurship so that I can learn how to start my own business. Do I go with my instinct and take a step backward for a possibly more fulfilling future, or should I stick with the more accepted path by going to a private college? — A Little Lost

Dear A Little Lost: Give it a full year to get comfortable with the uncomfortable. Stick it out a full year AND follow your instincts. Most transitions (college included) are naturally uncomfortable. Transitions can be lonely at times and hard at times. But that's normal. Take classes that interest you. Get involved in clubs and organizations for entrepreneurs (leadership programs would be perfect). Find five mentors on campus you can talk to in five different areas of campus life (professors, student leaders, counselors, etc).  Make this a ME year (not me, I mean you). Stick it out a year, and one of two things will happen – you'll either love it or hate it. Either way, you'll leave having learned more about yourself than you could have ever learned in a classroom.  And you'll leave confident enough in your decision to tune out those who don't agree with your choices.

Dear Harlan: I've been with this girl since July. When I left for college, we decided to break up because we couldn't see each other. I also had another reason to break up – there was this other girl I've been hanging out with. My ex wants to come down to see me on a day that happens to be the birthday of the girl I like. I wanted to tell her that I like her more than a friend. I don't know if I can. What should I do? What should I tell my ex? Part of me wants to see my ex, and part of me says I should move on. I'm so confused. — Ex-tremely Torn

Dear Ex-tremely Torn: You're so scared. You are so scared that you will take a risk and the birthday girl will reject you. You're so scared that your ex will find someone else. You're so scared to be single. If you knew you had endless options, would it be so hard to be honest with everyone? If you knew you could find another girlfriend, would you be so torn? You have options. Never forget it. Tell your ex-girlfriend you need time to think about your feelings and follow your heart. Sure, it's scary, but a guy who takes risks and gives women genuine attention is a man who won't stay single for long.

(c) Harlan Cohen 2009. Distributed by King Features Syndicate Inc.

Harlan is the author of "Dad's Pregnant Too" (Sourcebooks). Write Harlan at harlan(at)helpmeharlan.com or visit online: www.helpmeharlan.com. All letters submitted become property of the author. Send paper to Help Me, Harlan! 2506 N. Clark St., Ste. 223, Chicago, IL 60614.

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