Dear Harlan: I'm a freshman at college this year and I recently got involved with a guy who also is a freshman. We have a lot in common, we get along great, and I think I've fallen in love with him. The only problem is that he has a girlfriend back home, whom he claims to be "madly in love" with. He's cheating on her with me. I feel really guilty about it, and I feel bad that he's hurting her, but I don't think I can give him up at this point. I'm not sure what to do. Should I ask him about it? Or tell her via Facebook? (I don't really know her in person.) Or something else? — M

Dear Harlan: I am a freshman girl in high school. I always thought I would be one of those girls who all through high school would not have a boyfriend and never get a date. Now, less than two months into the school year, I am dating a junior whom I really like. We have many of the same interests and have pretty much the same friends. And that's a problem. One of our friends, who is a senior, all of a sudden likes this guy, too. I am majorly upset about this, mainly because the other girl's crush came out of nowhere. It's really nobody's business who I date. But I'm tired of looking like the bad guy when I didn't do anything. What do you think of this? — Not Feeling Like Juliet

Dear Harlan: How do you completely cut off from an ex-boyfriend when you have made friends with his friends? I dated this guy for more than a year. — Cutting Off

Dear Harlan: I don't understand if I'm just worn out or tired, but I am never happy. I feel as if there is nothing to look forward to. Sure, I hang out with my friends and have fun once in a while. But those kinds of things just temporarily lighten my mood. I've been like this since high school, but I tend to just smile it out. There are times when I'm really happy, but those fleeting moments are always followed by a crash. It's not that I'm bored, and there is really nothing missing in my life. I just feel worn out. Every day I wake up hoping I don't have to exert myself or do much of anything. My friends don't really think anything of it. My parents sometimes ask me what's wrong, but I brush it off. I really don't understand it myself. Sometimes I'm perfectly fine, and then other times I'm just down. It's getting to be a real problem now, though, because being in college, I have tons of work to do. But I have no motivation whatsoever to get it done. I get it done and do get good grades but only because I do need to get somewhere in life. I have no motivation to be anything either, such as a doctor, lawyer, teacher, etc. I just don't care anymore. I shouldn't be thinking this way. There was a time when I used to have a drinking problem, but my friends made me stop. Now I stay away from all of that altogether. If you ever see me, I look like a perfectly normal and happy person, but honestly, I try so hard to cover myself up. Sometimes, I don't even bother. I really want to be normal again. — Barely Moving

Dear Harlan: I am a 27-year-old man, and I have hit a wall in my life. I'm an intelligent guy with seemingly limitless potential for happiness and success, yet cannot find a career (or hobby) that feels worthwhile. I am a laid-off service technician for an irrigation company. It is a thankless job that has taken a mental and physical toll on me. I have taken a few college courses and enjoy learning, but do not know if it is financially feasible to return to school. I'm sure I have a lot more to offer this world than fixing leaks. Any suggestions? — Hit a Wall

Dear Harlan: I am 18 years old and live at home with my parents and siblings. I planned to go to college this year as a freshman, but had to back out at the last minute due to financial and family issues. At the moment, I do not have a job to make money for college because my family is in crisis right now. My mother is in rehab. My little sisters will also be coming home soon after being taken away by the state. Since they have been gone, I have been taking care of my father and brother and the house. When my sisters return, it will be my responsibility to care for them (which I have been doing for about eight years) while my father is at work and brother is at school. Not that I have a huge problem with this, but I feel that I am putting my whole life on hold. Should I put more stress on myself and get a job to help with college expenses while caring for my family, or help my family and deal with college and jobs when all is situated? — Tough Time

Dear Harlan: I have been in college only a few weeks, and I can tell already that this is not where I want to spend the next four years of my life. There's nothing wrong with the college: It's beautiful, the people are nice and friendly, the classes are interesting and not too difficult. However, it just doesn't feel right. I am thinking about transferring at the end of the year, or possibly the end of the semester. Herein lies the problem: I want to transfer to a community college near my home. I think a lot of people would see this as a huge step backward, going from a fairly selective, private liberal-arts college to a community college. I feel I should tell you, however, I wouldn't be going into this without a plan. I want to study business and entrepreneurship so that I can learn how to start my own business. Do I go with my instinct and take a step backward for a possibly more fulfilling future, or should I stick with the more accepted path by going to a private college? — A Little Lost

Dear Harlan: I am currently in a friends-with-benefits relationship with this wonderful man. We met online, and things progressed from friends to FWB. He has stayed with me almost all of the past month and is moving in. My problem is that he has not helped me with any cooking or cleaning in that time, and when I have asked for assistance, he gets frustrated. Furthermore, a female friend he went to high school with got in contact with him and told him she's had a crush on him since high school and wants to hook up, and also has gone into explicit detail about what she wants to do with him. He and I are not in a relationship, but needless to say, I'm jealous. How can I ask him to help me around the house without coming across as bossy, and how do I tell him I'm uncomfortable sharing him with another woman? — Trouble Sharing in Canada

Dear Harlan: I'm an incoming freshman and have not started classes yet. I am in a relationship, and I am worried that having a boyfriend means I won't make many guy friends. I'm not looking for another relationship or hook-ups or anything like that — just friendship. At orientation, a guy was really friendly until he found out I had a boyfriend. I feel like having a boyfriend will prevent me from making friends. I'm worried. Thank you for your help! — Seeking Guy Friends

Dear Harlan: About your reply to the dad-to-be: Hopefully, you didn't mean it to be interpreted this way, but I (and probably thousands of other women) was so offended by the phrase "there's just only so much room in their pregnant brains."  Are you kidding me? It sounds as if you are implying that pregnant women have a cognitive disability and/or are unable to reason clearly. Surely, you simply hit the print key before your own brain was engaged fully. I'm not sure I'll ever read your column again. — Offended